Welcome.

Thank you for stopping by. This is my first blog. It is inspired by reflections of self discovery, curiosities, an inquisitive mind, the need to support a growth mind set and by the suggestion of a family member who is overwhelmed by massive amount of content on this subject through text and email. In my quest for answers and insight into my thoughts, feelings and behaviors I found more questions and curiosities about myself, attraction, motivation, and relationships. While the first reflection of interest has to do with hugs, this topic will lead into perspectives on commitment, types of relationships, self imposed boundaries and why we place self imposed limits on our immense capacity to enjoy life and the company of others with labels assigned and accepted by society.

I discovered a quality in a hug that I didn’t realize was important to me but it got me hooked to the point that after three or so years I still obsess over this particular person’s hugs because of this one quality but it was the whole package and process of a hug before contact was even made that drew me back for more but always 2-5 seconds long In a professional setting and always in the presence of others. We weren’t/aren’t friends, chat buddies or romantic interests. During this period of 2 years or so the hugs were the same context … a professional setting at the front reception desk which over a period of time supplied me with my dopamine and oxytocin fix. It was all the touch I needed and I didn’t yearn for more. I could have gone on for years with a once a week hug for merely 2-5 seconds. That’s how rich fulfilling these hugs were. This blog reflects on my research into the neurochemistry in an attempt to understand this addictive like state and euphoria during these brief hugs and the lasting impacts thereafter. It also reflects on the journey into self discovery and appreciation for self honesty, the brain, and how kindness does help heal another. I couldn’t identify right away when asking myself why this particular person’s hugs were addictive and others were not as…before Covid I hugged everyone that was open to a hug. Well, what might have been obvious for others I had to find out through the literature on touch, hugs, crushes, infatuation, fantasy, gender specteum, attraction, attachment theory and more will come to mind later I’m sure. I didn’t have a simple answer for what I was feeling when I was missing this persons hugs. I couldn’t have been missing them because I didn’t know them. I was/am missing the feeling of safety and comfort in their hugs. Not sure if their gender made a difference in the energy I was feeling.

Next blog to focus on the quality of these hugs that set them apart from all others. I’m going to attempt to describe the intensity of these 2-5 second hugs (for me) that I never wanted to end and that kept me fueled until following week. It will be describing energy If there is such a thing as. “The science and art of hugging” then this person has nailed it. Maybe it’s the first time that someone has hugged me with intention and not mechanically. I started to wonder if this person hugs everyone like they hug me and maybe it’s my first quality hug only special to me but ordinary to others. I was beginning to wonder if I wasn’t desperate for touch that I latched on these hugs but I didn’t feel the same about any other hugs.